Adventures of Slumber Chick

Friends, Body Image and Being an Adult

2009-10-07T09:36:00.002-06:00

Do you know how much emotional crap women juggle in a day? In the span of 24 hours, I have dealt with numerous heavy topics, and I wasn't lifting them with my hands! I don't think I am alone. either. I think the concept of multitasking goes way beyond the physical juggling.

Yesterdays tally-Marital strife, managing an adult friendship, gratitude, neighborhood gossip, body image, parenting, daily stress, gender roles, grief, joy, sexuality, family dynamics, teaching, emotions around weight loss, dealing with my mother...

I think it is this mental marathon that make women both amazing and crazy at the same time.

2009-10-05T10:35:00.003-06:00

I just ordered books online about women's anatomy. If this stuff floats your boat, and, if you have never read Natalie Angier's Woman: An Intimate Geography, check it out. She is the most elegant writer! She make you really want to read about scientific gobbledygooch.

I am in full fall mode-baking, making comfort food (although attempting to lighten it, cause I am counting points). I have 9 parties booked for October, which will be really fun, because I have been on a self-perscribed slow down for about 3 months! There is a saying in the direct sales biz: a party can cure anything! Need mojo? Need money? Need to get out? etc.. etc.. A party can solve that! So October is the month I chose to fire it back up and go for beating my top sales ever! That means doing more than $10K in retail, which also means $5K in my pocket. Love it!

This also means getting serious about scheduling for the family. When I am here and there and everywhere, I have to have back up. Hubbs is very good about being where I need him when I need him, but the kids get a little squirrely about me being away more. So I have to work hard to schedule in some focused time for them, and schedule "out" some of my more time-sucking activites like Facebook and Twitter. Luckily we have fall break coming up, so we can go for outings, which always make the ramp-up to more working a little easier.

Poken, Twitter, Facebook oh my!

2009-09-09T15:46:00.002-06:00

Life moves pretty fast. Ferris said it, boy! I am working hard to keep up. I am not the geeked out computer girl, I am not detail oriented, and I certainly don't have a knack for technology. But there is so much potential out there! Potential to trudge up old flames via Facebook. Spent this whole summer of my 20th HS reunion contemplating my past actions, and what they mean to my life now. Heavy. There is potential for educating and empowering in my own little niche on Twitter, although the more kooky sex folks tend to flock to any site using the words penis and clitoris and orgasm on a regular basis. I keep seeing blow jobs in action on their Twitter profile pics. Not really the crowd I am looking to educate. They clearly have educated themselves already, and feel very empowered! There is potential for something new and fun with Poken. Have you seen this? It is like an electronic business card, that has all the info about your places on the interwebs. It is a little hokey, but apparently a smash in Switzerland. So I'm trying that too. Potential has it's perks. I feel like I am involved in something. But geez I'm tired! How is your life on the interwebs going?

Back back back again gain...

2009-08-27T09:18:00.002-06:00

Here I am! Did you miss me? You probably didn't know you missed me, cause I hadn't posted enough to even let you get to know me. But I'm back!

I reported back in Spring about my Facebook addiction, and I am happy to say it is alive and well. I might need rehab, but for now I say NO NO NO. I recently put up a Fan Page for my business, and that is slowly but surely gaining momentum. I like to post things there about certain products, or ideas about sex, and I am bound and determined to promote some healthy aspects of sexuality on that page! Did you know that Social Media has taken over PORN as the #1 activity on the web? Woohoo! So let my addiction be free.

Pensacola!

2009-05-17T08:41:00.008-06:00

I just returned from a reward trip to Pensacola Beach to spend 4 days with 4 other women and the owner of our company, Kim Brecheen. It was meant as a leadership focus trip, and it was that, but it was so much more for me personally.

Kim sat us all down and pulled our numbers. She went round the table and asked each of us what our goals were, and what our challenges and successes were. We Masterminded as a group, and got great advice from Kim as well. I had some serious "light bulb moments" at every topic. Kim was kind, generous, wise, and serious. I walked away with a new sense of vigor for my business.

I also let loose in a whole new way. Us girls were girlie. We played Guitar Hero one evening til late, with Kim absolutely rocking the house on drums! The next night we did facials and hair conditioning masks and got really silly. We goofed around on the beach. We threw each other in the water. We acted like kids, and it felt wonderful. Especially after such intense work during the day.

The beach! Oh my! I am enchanted. I live in Colorado, with nary a drop of water anywhere nearby, much less a pristine white sand beach! I have been to a couple beaches before, but none touched me like this. I sat one morning and just watched and listened to the waves. I walked up and down the beach and became closely acquainted with the squeak my feet make on the sand. I smelled the salt air, tasted the saltwater, and even got it in my eyes. It was magical to me.

Now I a back home, sitting in my chair, listening to my family around me. I have work to do, and I am excited to get going!

Peeing Our Pants a Little

2009-05-11T12:36:00.005-06:00

Funny things from my party Saturday.

"I laughed so hard at the last party, I peed my pants a little. So I asked my husband to pick me up some pantyliners for tonight. He said, borrow from a neighbor."

Me: "Who is driving the Winnebago?"
Hostess: "Oh, my husband and kids are camping out there in the driveway while we party in here tonight!"

I had a few weeks where I didn't have a party, and I am happy to say that it made me really appreciate how much I do love these things! I love to be funny, I love to make people laugh! I enjoy educating the girls. And I love to make some cash! I am spending $200 of the $800 I made Saturday on a theater camp for my daughter this summer! Yay!

Let's talk about sex, baby!

2009-04-21T21:35:00.004-06:00

To be taken seriously as a sex educator! Of course that is my quest! Yet, what am I up against? Most everything we see about sex is unrealistic or just plain crazy. Hot airbrushed women in mags. Crazy reality TV. Skinny, horny AND successful. Wow. Those women look sweet! I heard recently from a friend that she "tries, yet ends up embarrassed" when she tries something new. I say "holy cow, at least you TRY!". Lots of people never do anything to change it up, to "kick it up a notch"! More power to her, right? Well, yes and no. I want her to try. I want my girlfriends to be happy in the bedroom, and I know that part of the responsibility is theirs. So I cheer the effort... but... I also don't want to ruin the day with all the pressure!
Reality is this: it does take effort. I agree. But I also know it includes so many variables it makes my mind spin. Here is just one woman's equation: 2 kids, full time job, primary homemaker, low self esteem, growing midsection, prone to depression, low sex drive, high value on happy sex life. Do you see where I am headed? Every woman has a drawer full of positives and negatives that effect her ability to be a sexual being. What's June Cleaver to do? In the big scheme of things, it can be managed, but on a day to day basis for this woman, it is a total cluster. What do you think is the first thing to fall off? I can tell you, it is not the attention to the home. It is the attention to her sexuality. In America we are not given permission to put sex and sexiness first. Maybe in France!
Let's talk about sex, baby, and let's talk about it a lot! Are you satisfied, how does sex fit into your life? Are you trying new things, are you making yourself happy in how you look at sex?
I am so serious. I am a sexologist, and dammit, I am determined to help make this a better life to live!

Holy Snow, Batman!

2009-04-20T09:59:00.013-06:00

I just read blogging is dead. What? I just started!
The pressure is insane. My friend Write Jay Write is a professional writer. He is damn funny. Sweet Go Blog Yourself has the wisdom of a thousand years. Who the heck am I?

Just keep swimming, as they say in Nemo.

We just had a killer snowstorm. Yeah, check the date. April 17th, and we got 2 feet of snow. We played in it like it was the first snow of the year! In fact, it sort of felt like the first snow of the year-as we were dry as a bone around here nearly all winter. It felt great to send the kids out for sledding! They made a snowman! We did our own version of the Polar Bear Club where we rolled around in the snow in our bathing suits! We made hot cocoa, and built our own pizzas. I felt like a real Martha Stewart! It was all so fun, and made me appreciate the fun 4 seasons bring! My kids inspired me this weekend to live in the moment!
I have been reminded again and again to live in the now this winter. A family friend lost their baby to cancer. I slowed down my business to a level that was a much better fit for my family. I saw my dad live his dream seeing his family from 4 to 70 years old skiing down the mountain with him. I saw another friend lose their 11 year suddenly to some mystery illness. I am living through the tears and questions and anguish this created.
I guess what I'm saying is NOW is the TIME. Time to tackle it. Let's go! Whatever it is, I gotta get after it. Body, mind, soul... I got big plans.

I Have Succumbed Because of a Gateway Drug

2009-03-12T15:52:00.004-06:00

I have gone to the dark side. The side I swore I was going to put my sister in an institution for. She was the one on her computer/phone/pda/camera/gps constantly. I was the one yelling at her to knock it off. Have some human interaction every now and then.
Well, now I've gone and done it. It started with a faster computer. Last summer, I hopped on Facebook, and quickly became and addict. I also got an iPhone, which I swore was the last straw. Now I am blogging and tweeting and almost Squidooing. And I have to say, it is very fun and very exciting!

If you feel like your Facebooking is a gateway drug to other social networking, and you need help (as in, how do you get on those networks, what are they?) I am here to help! Please let me know! I think I will write a manual for some desperate soul out there and post it Squidoo. Standby...

We all know and love our Moms, right?

2009-03-11T15:05:00.010-06:00

I am in direct sales and I work from home. I do this for many reasons, not the least of which is that I love not having to go to an office. I like the work. I like the money. I love taking the kids to the pool in the summer, and I love that they don't have to go to day care. For some reason my 10 year old daughter is not so keen on the great things about this kind of job. Here is the letter she wrote:

Our Moms and Their Home Jobs

By: Sassy Pants Lowell

We all know and love our moms right? Well how do feel about their home business? I know the I don’t like it at least most of the time. Since my mom works at night, I feel like I don’t get to see her as much as other kids see there moms. Because I get home from school at 4 and she leaves normally at 4:30 or 5. But the good part is she can watch me when I’m sick or off school.

My mom has parties were not allowed to go to. Dad can’t even go. Mom works for a business called Slumber Parties. I know and you know that it is a weird job.

Here are questions you can ask your self about your moms work:

Do I like her job?

Do I need to know more about her Job?

What is her job?

Is there something in it for me?

Do I care?

If you need to talk about it with her, talk about it!

Gulp. My first reaction is a ridiculous amount of guilt. I am a constant guilt monger, and I worry about what my kids feel just like any working mom. My second reaction comes a minute later, and is one of irritation. Gimme a break! She has no idea how good she has it! Don't you think she is really bustin' my chops?

When she was writing it, she was asking for spelling help, so I got to jump in there and help her "remember" about summer fun and sick days. And for the record, when I have a party, I usually leave at 5-5:30, and that is about 6 times a month. She apparently knows exactly which subjects cut right to the quick with me.

I have had suggestions to put them into day care for a month, and let them see what it's really like. I tend to think that is a little extreme, but I do know some perspective would be awesome. Part of the puzzle of my particular direct sales job is the product itself. I sell racy items that have to be kept behind locked doors until the kids are a little older. I know my daughter is curious about all the secrecy. I tried to mitigate this by offering to pay her for helping me put name and number labels on some of the lotions. She gets to help me tag the lingerie, at least the stuff that is fit for 10 year old eyes. I had a nice chat with Sassy Girl (well more like "at" her) where I explained I am a sex educator, and my life's work has been working with women and their sexuality. Of course it was totally over her head, but I was trying to be inclusive, so everything wasn't such a mystery. It's tricky.

I guess the main thing that keeps me from feeling bad is that I really, really love my work. I get a huge sense of accomplishment when I make people laugh, help them with a problem, or just bring home the bacon. Somehow I have to find a way to share these genuine feelings along to my daughter, so I am empowering my future woman right here at home.

A New Frontier

2009-03-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

What's a chick like me going to write about? Today is the first day of blogging. It is exciting and scary and full of weird pressures. Luckily for me, ignorance has been bliss-I haven't paid much attention to the ins and outs of blogging, I've just been merrily reading along. Now I am taking a stab at it:

So...
I have been thinking about a character from the movie Short Cuts by Robert Altman. She is Honey Bush, and she earns a living working a 1-900 number, doing phone sex. The funny thing is that she does this at home, with two kids in diapers running around. You see her, fully dressed in mom gear, sitting at the kitchen table, making a sandwich, saying "oh yeah, right there" into the phone. It plays as a comedy scene.

Lately, I have been thinking about my job in a similar way. I do in-home parties selling awesome product to enhance the romance in everyone's lives. It's like I'm the TumbleWare rep., only with products that are a whole lot more interesting! Now, don't get me wrong. I love this job, and it certainly pays the bills. But, it seems like a true oxymoron: Life in suburbia. Surrounded by upstanding citizens on all sides. Tidy neighborhoods filled with children, dogs, and happy couples. (Well the realities of that are a "whole 'nother Oprah" as they like to say) And here's me, with a room full of Ben Wa Balls and Bendy Beavers and Coochy shave cream. When you cut it down to it's most basic reality, I sell sex toys in a totally pristine atmosphere.

The humor is everywhere. Imagine driving down the road and something with batteries is going of in the cargo hold. I ask for extras on the gigantic bags at Target at Christmastime to cover and transport the Love Swing to and fro. I swap product with other distributors by placing a black bag of "goodies" on her doorstep while grabbing the bag she set out for me. I routinely talk to my coworkers husbands about arousal creams, and no one bats an eye. My husband helps me with inventory by calling out the names of various and sundry vibrators and what count. You see? It is all very normal to us. But from an outside perspective, it's a bit nutty.

For me, what I sell is not just about sex. It is about education, having fun, and empowerment. I help marriages. I help women and men. I bring joy to our world, and help with suburban blight! It's been four years, and I can honestly say I can't see myself doing anything else right now.